no, he came in my armpit
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
