he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
