It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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