remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize