Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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