I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
