Cold hands, warm shart.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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