It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
