no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
