I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
not ubering you a puppy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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