Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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