I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
