No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
