Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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