i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
where are my eyebrows?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
