im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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