is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They took my balls.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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