i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
