so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize