I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
