so explain again why im purple
no
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
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Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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