I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
