I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
