I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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