Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
