i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
