I want to make a zoo with you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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