i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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