Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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