ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
