why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
