If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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