would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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