its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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