She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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