Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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