do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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