Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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