Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why do cheetos always look like penises
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
