Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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