God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I met the friendliest cop last night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize