Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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