the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
