Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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