Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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