sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
