Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
whose ass print is on the piano?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
