Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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