we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
