This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
