In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
