So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
