In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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