so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
