she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if only i could text you this smell
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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