I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
