We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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