So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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