By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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