apparently the secret to your success is patron
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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